Happy Birthday, BC!

Dear Son,
Part of me wants someone to pinch me and say "This is not real, your boy is not really twelve." The other part of me knows that you must keep growing and celebrating birthdays if you are to become the man of God that I've always prayed you'd become. We've had some candid discussions lately about where you are headed and who you are becoming. I've told you since you were old enough to comprehend, "I will always love you, no matter what. Even if you make choices that I don't agree with. Even if you go off on your own path and reject the things that I've taught you about life, faith, etc." Then I look into your blue, blue eyes and I plead, "But son, it's best if you just stay close to Jesus. Always. I have never known a day out of His presence. Life has been tough, but I've always had the peace of walking and talking with Jesus. Stay close to Him and He will carry you through anything!" I love you so much, B, and I long to see you stay in the protective covering of His almighty wing. He always give us the choice to accept that covering or reject it.

I have watched you grow so much this past year. First, I am so thankful to God that you are HEALTHY and not sick as you were last year this time. It was so painful to watch you suffer for most of last year, but thank God, you have been healthy and full of energy this year! In the midst of some very painful and intense circumstances, I have watched you grow into a young man. You care for your brothers and look out for them in so many different situations. You have taken some of your younger cousins under your wing and they adore you. I remind you, often, that little eyes are WATCHING you, all the time! One cousin is just a baby and when we babysit him, you are quick to offer assistance. Even when he fusses, you tell me, "I've got it, Mom." You hold him, feed him and soothe him and once he falls asleep, you sit there and snuggle him. Wow! Another cousin is two and he thinks the sun rises and sets on you! Right now, his family is going through some very painful things and you have taken time to spend entire days with him. Most 12 year olds would not want to hang out with a two year old, but you have such a tender heart and you want to do it. I promise you, these little ones will not forget you! You will have a special place in their hearts always!

Another "WOW" moment came a few weeks ago. I was listening to a church service online and you came and sat down with me. I thought you would grow bored and leave soon after, but you stayed right there with me for the entire message. In the middle of it, you said, "Mom, I really wish we could be there live." I told you the services would continue the next evening. "Do you want to go with me?" Your response, "Just me and you, Mom?" "Of course!" I took you out for pizza and then we went to church together, how's that for a unique date? During worship and alter ministry, you stuck with me. You even came up to the alter and held me while I wept in the presence of Jesus. I cherish those moments and pray that we will have even more heart to heart moments as you grow older.

Your birthday falls at the start of a new school year. Every year we find a way to celebrate your birthday, despite all the chaos of school resuming. This year you are going to be challenged in some of your classes. I have complete faith in your abilities. You are a very smart young man and you excel in areas that I never understood. I look forward to watching you grow in your gifts and in the knowledge of the world around you.

B, I love you more than words can ever say. Sure, we have our moments. Oh my, do we ever! You and I bump heads and push each other's buttons almost daily. But underneath it all, know that I love you more than I love my own life. I want good for you. I long for you to know who you are in Jesus so that you can stand strong in any storm that life throws at you. When I carried you in my belly, I felt God tell me that your life would be poured out for His kingdom. I know He's going to use you to bring many to His heart. Stay close to Him, son. In every circumstance, take a moment to consider that He is with you and then choose the way He would go. I will be your mom until the day I die. I am here, anytime. My arms and heart welcome you, my precious firstborn. You are my delight, you are a treasure to me!

Happy, happy birthday! I wish time would slow down. And yet...I can't wait to see what the next year holds for you! I love, love, love you!

Your Mommy