Why We Home School

This photo illustrates why we home school. God has entrusted us with three precious sons and every day with them is a gift from Him. I always wanted to home school, but my husband was adamantly against it. He struggled with the "socialization" issues and worried about my sanity if I was at home all day with the kids and no real breaks. We were blessed to be able to send our boys to a private Christian school and God provided for those years. While I knew that our boys were in a safe place, being taught by godly people who reinforced the values that we taught them from God's word, I ached when I sent them away each day. Someone else was getting the best part of each day with them and I was missing out. Time was fleeting and my babies were growing up so fast, I felt like I was being robbed. God knew the deepest longings of my heart and he was moving in D's life as well. Through much prayer, discussion and a pep talk with a dear friend and mentor, D was finally open to the option of home schooling. We knew from the beginning that it would be a "we" decision, not a "me" one. For this to be successful, dad had to be actively involved.

In the fall of 2008 our adventure began. It has been quite a ride and I can say with all assurance, it is the best decision we have ever made for our family. That is not to say that we don't have rough spots. Of course we do. At the start of each new week, I feel overwhelmed. I worry if our boys are getting "enough" education. I compare myself to other home school moms and feel mostly inadequate. After awhile in the pit, I put my eyes back on Jesus and the task set before me. I know that He has called me to this ministry of home schooling. I know that He will give me exactly what I need each and every day to love, instruct, lead and guide my boys closer to His heart. The peace that comes in those moments surpasses all my fears and doubts.

My favorite aspects of home schooling...

*1.) We can keep first things first. Our passion is to love God and love others. Everything in life either builds on these passions or distracts from them. We are able to focus on heart issues each and every day. I have time and energy to sit and powwow with the boys and help them to identify their emotions and understand why they respond as they do in certain situations. I love my children and I want to spend as much time with them as I possibly can!

*2.) Our family can be our number one ministry. This is still in line with keeping first things first. When my boys were younger, I ran from one "ministry" to another...I would be gone three or four nights a week. I missed out on bedtime prayers and good night kisses. I grieve those lost opportunities. While I cannot go back and change the past, I certainly can decide where I go from here. Now we dedicate at least four nights a week to our family (most weeks it is five or six nights). This time includes eating dinner, cleaning up together, working on school work with dad (he covers Spelling and Science and helps us to catch up on other subjects when we fall behind), musical jam sessions as dad is teaching the boys how to play their instruments, game nights, outside time and movie nights. We also make sure we are home two or three full Saturdays each month. This helps us to keep up with household projects and chores and gives us time to rest.

*3.) My sons are the best of friends. We have always discouraged the term "best friend" in our home. The title is exclusive and leaves others feeling inferior and inadequate. The one exception we make is in relation to siblings. We have taught our boys that the friendships they have with each other are meant to last a lifetime. Others will come and go, but family stays. It is vital that we learn to honor each other and value the relationships that God Himself ordained when He placed us in a family. My boys simply love being together. They enjoy having friends over, but they delight in hanging out together. I will sit on the couch and just listen to them interacting. My heart is filled with joy and contentment.

*4.) Flesh is exposed. While this may not seem like I perk, I feel strongly that it is! So often, my boys would go away to school and return to me in frazzled, cranky and dark moods. Why? We tend to be on our best behavior when we are out and about. We save our "true selves" for our family. Flesh has the opportunity to peek out and snap at any moment when we are together 24/7. I LOVE THAT! Why? We are raising three future husbands, three future fathers, three future ministers, three future employees. Every battle we can fight and gain victory in now is one less battle they will feel powerless to fight later. Flesh wakes up with us every day. We will always have the opportunity to fight it. Being together in an environment where they feel safe, my boys are more inclined to let their true colors show. I am pushed and tweaked each day, exposing my own lack of patience and self control. We have the opportunity to walk through those struggles, to name the emotions, to seek forgiveness when we offend and to offer forgiveness to those who hurt us.

*5.) We spend between four and five hours a day on schoolwork, leaving the remaining hours to rest, play and just "be." I do not miss waking the boys before seven in the morning, rushing around to pack lunches and backpacks, picking out school approved outfits, signing forms, deicing the vehicle, pushing sleepy boys out the door, putting them on the bus, sending them away for eight hours each day, picking them up, coming home to unpack the same lunch boxes and backpacks, dealing with tired, cranky boys, hearing about the bullying and picking they endured at the hands of classmates, struggling through another hour or two of homework, hearing them groan when it was bedtime and they had not had any time to play...no, I do not miss that one tiny bit. And yes, as a home school mom, I am very aware that I just wrote a dreadful run-on sentence. Our lives felt like one run-on sentence after another, day in and out.

Now we get up around seven thirty and eat breakfast together. Most mornings, D reads the Bible or another story to the boys. Around eight thirty we begin our school day. Usually, we are finished with our studies by noon. The boys have time quiet time each day, giving them time to regroup, rest and read. I get two hours to clear my head and rest my body. The afternoon provides the boys with time to play outside, build Lego creations and be together. After dinner, they spend about an hour with dad doing Spelling and Science. Most of our evenings are quiet and by eight thirty, three boys are tucked into bed.

*6.) As parents, we choose what our children learn. We want to be responsible and make sure that our boys are progressing each year. We don't want to be flighty in our approach to academics. Our desire is to raise our sons to be godly men of good character who operate in their individual giftings. We desire for them to become responsible members of society, to have skills and knowledge to work and provide for their families. We also want to major on the majors and minor on the minors. With the time we are given, we choose to teach the boys the basics of reading, writing and arithmetic. We add in other subjects as the "icing on the cake," but we don't drill them to the point that they feel overwhelmed. As they approach high school, we have decided we will help each boy to excel in the areas that he is interested in. We may pursue some vocational training in those areas. J is our creator, processor, inventor, engineer. C is like his dad, he could go any direction. It may be more difficult for him to choose. B is also like his dad, he could chose from many professions. He is analytical and very strong in the area of science. It will be exciting to see how each boy grows into the man he's created to be.

*7.) We get to walk our children through the real life issues that arise. We will not always be able to protect them, but while they are young, I believe it is our God given responsibility to be there to process things with them. We expose our boys to "the real world," while we are close by and can experience it with them. We talk about the issues of our day, helping our boys to be culturally relevant while teaching them to take a stand for righteousness. It is a challenge for adults to be "in and not of the world," how much more so for our children! As parents, we know what issues our boys are ready to discuss and which ones they don't need to deal with until later. There is so much peace that comes with having this knowledge, we don't have to fear that they are getting their education from the world.

*8.) We have flexibility in our schedules. I already mentioned that we only spend about four hours a day on school work. When the boys were in private school, they were gone for eight hours each day and still had one or two hours of homework. Instead of nine or ten hours of school work, they now have plenty of time to rest, play and explore. In addition to that, we can determine when to start the school year, when to end it and when we need to take breaks. Some families school twelve months out of the year. We enjoy our summers so much, we do not choose that route. When we encounter sickness or crisis, it is such a relief to have flexibility.

*9.) Playing is learning. It's really that simple. As we play together, we learn together. Learning is not all about having our noses stuck in a textbook. We love books and we make use of the Internet, but so much learning is accomplished as we talk and explore. Children's museums, science museums, parks and retail stores can serve as classrooms. Trips to the dentist or doctor, babysitting for another family, taking a meal to a shut in are all ways to teach our kids about the world around them. We learn something new everyday, together.

*10.) We get to be home everyday, in our pajamas if we so choose. I enjoy the laid back, relaxed approach to life. I certainly have a list of subjects we need to cover and I love to check things off when we accomplish them. This pace of life suits us. We leave the house two or three times a week and when we do, the boys often ask, "Do we have to go?" They want to be home.