Baker5 at Kelly’s House

I was introduced to some of these precious children in July, on my first trip to Hope of Life International, in Guatemala. God’s ways are not our ways, His ways are higher. He sees a bigger picture, His is a bigger plan. I went to Guatemala, expecting to spend lots of time in the hospital, holding malnourished babies. That would have been a big enough stretch for me, but I am a mama and I can find my way in a nursery. However, upon our arrival, we found out that the hospital was under quarantine, the babies were sick from pneumonia and rotavirus and visitors were not allowed in the building. I was left with a choice of where I would spend several hours each day. I felt that God was tugging on my heart and asking me to trust Him. Was I willing to go to the place where I felt the least qualified, the most vulnerable and completely inadequate? Would I give my fears, phobias and insecurities to Him? Would I lay down my pride, my comfort and allow myself to be stretched in ways I never thought possible?

He asked me to serve at Kelly’s House, to love the beautiful children who live there. They each have a story and they each have challenging disabilities that cause them to rely on others for each and every need. They cannot feed themselves, bathe themselves, or use the bathroom. Most cannot walk or talk. Many lay in cribs almost 24/7, only getting out for baths and physical therapy sessions. I am not a physical therapist. I am not a doctor. I am not a nurse. I have the weakest stomach and quickest gag reflex of anyone I know. I am petrified of vomit and anything else that comes out of the mouth, including pureed food and lukewarm formula.

The first day I walked into Kelly’s House, my stomach was in knots. I had no idea what would help or hurt these precious children. I knew very little about cerebral palsy. Would it cause them pain if I touched them? Would they be uncomfortable if I held them? How would I ever communicate with them, when I cannot speak Spanish and they cannot speak at all? Would I gag if I fed them? What if they gagged or puked on me? I was a wreck!

Hour by hour, my fears began to melt, as did my heart. I realized that they needed and loved to be held. I found out the Mimi and Arlin rarely get held. They are heavy and cannot support their weight, so leaning over the crib to get them out was a real challenge. Once I settled in the rocking chair or one the floor, they relaxed in my arms. I sang to them and they tried to match simple sounds. They smiled. They laughed. Joy was all over their faces.

I bathed Mimi, she pooped all over me and she laughed, as if she knew what she had done to me! I joined her, and laughed right along with her, “You got me good, didn’t you?”

The first day, I tried to feed one of the children and had to run from the room, gagging. My dear friends knew this was a struggle for me and didn’t force me to continue. They just stepped in to finish the feeding. I felt like a failure.

As the week continued, I could not wait to get back to the “littles” at Kelly’s House (in July that room held Emilio, Eswin, Marito, Arlin, Mimi, Jose David, Luis and Madeline). I wanted to learn their names. I want to know their stories. I wanted to hold each one and get to know their personalities.

I fell in love. Eight times over.

By the week’s end, I was able to feed Arlin, who was the room’s hardest feed. For each spoonful of mush that I put in her mouth, more than half of it would come back out. An eight ounce bottle of formula would dribble down her chin and her neck, I wonder if four ounces ever made it into her belly. I just looked deep into her eyes and said, “I love you, sweet girl! This is not easy for me to do, but I love you enough to do it.”

As I returned to Hope of Life and Kelly’s House last week, one of my main desires was to spend time every day with the children at Kelly’s House. I wanted to introduce my guys to the sweet little ones who stole my heart in July. God gave me the desires of my heart. He exceeded my expectations. He answered every prayer. Now, Darrel, Brandt, Carson and Jordan have also fallen in love with Eswin, Marito, Arlin, Mimi, Cristol, Maria, Irma Luis, Christopher and Madeline. There are still more to love and get to know, and I know God will allow me to connect with them on the next trip.

Darrel jumped in and threw a ball with Christopher. He ran after the ball that Christopher mischievously threw out the gates, over and over again. The sweet boy laughed so hard he was doubled over in his wheelchair. Carson fell in love with Eswin and sang his name to him while finding ways to stimulate him. Jordan bonded with Marito and could not wait to hold him each day. Brandt found himself caught in Madeline’s web, she stole his heart. He helped her walk around and pushed Luis’ wheelchair with her. I was able to hold several of my girls later in the week, when the temperatures dropped. Every afternoon, Sunday through Friday, we found ourselves walking the path to Kelly’s House. Our bodies have returned home, but pieces of our hearts remain in those rooms with our sweet friends.