What a Mom Wants

My mom sent me a comment today, stating that it had been a week since my last post. I know. I have not been in the mood to write. B has continued to struggle with his health. The news about the swine flu makes me so uneasy, as my child seems to catch any little thing that comes down the pike. I don't usually obsess or worry over things, but this one makes me nervous. Since January 20, my son has had the flu, a sinus infection, five weeks of fever, Strep and Mono together, vomiting and reflux. My birthday was on Saturday and the poor boy spent the whole day throwing up. We were at the DMV when I got a text from him, stating that it was really bad. I sent D to pick him up and get him to walk-ins at our pediatrician. I was then stranded at the DMV, but that didn't matter. I wanted to be sure he wasn't suffering from something that needed immediate attention. Once I finished up, I called my dad and he transported me to the doctor's office. Rota virus was the diagnosis. I declare. How did she even KNOW that, without running a test? We returned home and took long naps in between his episodes. He was worn out! His little body can't take much more. For that reason, I am trying to keep him at home this week and away from other people and who knows what germs. He has no resistance to anything right now, so a pandemic scares me! I am trying my best to lay these fears at the feet of Jesus. All the same, I know He has given us sounds minds to make good choices and I feel that we need to protect our boy as much as possible.

It has been so painful to watch my child suffer. I love him more than my own life and I would trade places with him if I could. I must have told him that. One day he said to me, "Mom, I wouldn't want you to lay down your life for me. I could not bear the pain of losing you." Oh my. He is beyond his years. One friend observed him a few weeks ago, stating how wise and grown up he is. He's experienced some painful things and the past 101 days have been intense. I told him that I hope it makes him more compassionate toward those who are sick and suffering. I long to see the good that comes out of this painful season. He is precious and I want to see him healed and whole. That's all a mom really wants.