To Be At Rest

Once again God has used one of my sons to teach me about the depths of His great love for me. Today began about as "blah" as the days before. I couldn't put my finger on any one thing that was bugging me, I just felt heavy and a sense of dread loomed over me. We made it through the school day and I sent the boys upstairs to play with Legos while I had a quiet time. I opened up my journal and my Bible and asked the Lord to lead me...And He took me back to Habakkuk. Across the page was a devotional written by a dear Christian lady who had experienced the depths of despair while in a literal prison. I was feeling the bars and shackles of my own emotional and spiritual prison. She felt that God asked her to get up and walk around and sing praises to Him. Of course, the expected argument ensued, but He won. She did what was asked of her, despite the fact that it made no sense in the human realm of understanding...And the shackles around her heart fell. She was able to face what came her way after that. I decided I would blast some of my favorite worship songs (surely I confused my boys, as it was Mommy's "quiet time") and praise Him, even though I didn't FEEL LIKE IT. He met me. He led me to the songs that reminded me of His power, His love, His grace and His faithfulness.

About an hour later, C came down the stairs. I reached for him and he let me hold him while I continued to worship. I sat down on the couch and held him, time stood still. He rested in my arms. He ceased his movements, his antics, his energy just faded away. Before I knew it, he was dozing and I laid him down so he could sleep. I heard the voice of my Father, gently whispering "That is how I want you to be. Come into My arms, rest in Me, lay your head on my shoulder. Be still and know that I am God. I am your Father, your Friend, your Everything..."

Thank You, Daddy, for letting me rest in Your arms. You are strong, I am not. I choose to run to You.